B22-03: “I always wanted to be like you ❤️“

Dear Daddy, 

I may never have had an opportunity to prepare a formal eulogy to honor you back then when you died but it’s still always better late than never. Forthrightly, It took me a while to uncover precise words to depict your vast impact in my life. Nevertheless, It was quite daunting to simultaneously catch our breath just as everything pans out swiftly whilst we slowly accept the fact that you are in a better place by then. So, here I am taking advantage of this special day during the celebration of your 2nd birthday there in paradise. I hope you are partying hard with my siblings and your other relatives 😎.

Let me start by sharing with you one of my deepest secret—A year before you passed away, I already dreamt of you inside a casket. I was so frightened by it and I can’t fathom that it will happen anytime sooner which resulted to repression. I just suddenly recollect that dream during one night of your funeral wake which felt like a deja vu to me. 

Losing you was one of the most difficult thing I have gone through for the reason that having you around exceptionally makes me feel safe and comfortable. You were my wind beneath my wings, biggest role model and cheerleader. You were an irresistible force in our lives. You always set the direction and led by example. When the seas were choppy, you steadied the ship and got on with the job. You were a brilliant planner who never run out of contingencies and excellent resource mobilizer. You’re a jack of all trades. You are hard working, compassionate towards everyone, and deserved the success and rich life that you have had enjoyed here: You taught me many, many things but I think most importantly you gave us the ability to know that if you really put your mind to something, anything is possible, and never to be afraid to give anything a go.

Like most people probably know, you are a man of few words, but when you opened up or made a comment, it was usually something ridiculously profound. Even though this happened often, your words of wisdom always took me aback. You expressed your love through actions. You were always there for everyone, family, neighbours, colleagues, friends or even for a stranger.  You were always a keen observer and a listener. You always allowed others to share their opinions before you shared yours, With me, that translated into you giving me the enough space to develop into the person I wanted to become, instead of forcing me into some mold. I am forever grateful for your calm and level-headed presence, and unique ability to always know when I needed your help before I even ask.

Perhaps, one of the most important things we shared was a love of music. You were a huge fan of classical music and had a large record collection which you would sang along in perfect tune every mornings even until your last few days here. You’re also known to have an incredible zest in life in spite of all the pains and traumas that you’ve went through. You ensure it won’t be transition to us and it’s truly inspiring how you work on your personal healing by championing Family and Life. Furthermore, I have always wanted to acquire your admirable calmness, zeal, lovingkindness, selflessness, wit and wisdom. In spite of your pain and health condition, you are still able to crack some jokes with anyone and prioritize looking after us instead of yourself. You have continuously shown your impressive grit and resilience right up until your last days with us.

 

Most importantly, you’ve taught me the real meaning of success. I would like to sum it up through this short poem from Ralph Waldo Emerson called “What Is Success?”

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends

To appreciate beauty

To find the best in others

To leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition

To know that one life has breathed easier because you lived here.

This is to have succeeded.

Nobody can be perfect but daddy you were  as close to being the most perfect Dad anyone could have. Your love was unconditional and this is something I will cherish from your character – and take with me forever. Your kindness and generosity will be remembered by all who had the pleasure of knowing you. 

“Daddy, though you won’t be there when I get married or have children of my own, I know that somehow you’ll be watching over us all. You were a large man that never made anyone else feel small, and for that reason, I’m so truly grateful to have called you ‘Daddy,’ and to have had you in my life for even that long. You will be forever missed and your memories will stay etched in my mind and heart for as long as I am still here. You will forever remain in Paradise. ”

PS

I wanted to extend our family’s deepest gratitude to everyone who came and joined us to celebrate my father's beautiful life and honor my dad especially those who travelled a very long distance, didn’t let timezone differences and even the pandemic to hinder them to pay your respects. I know my dad would have loved seeing you all together and would certainly have shed a few tears to see how many of his family and friends have turned up.  He would also have been very surprised, as he was a very humble man, and we are incredibly blessed to have had him as our Dad, husband, friend and leader.