We Don’t Have to Lose Ourselves to Find Each Other
I remember a conversation I had with a friend who is now a relationship coach. We were talking about a common friend who, from the outside, seemed like part of the “perfect couple”—and yet, unfortunately, they eventually separated. One of the reasons was that they would trigger each other’s unresolved traumas. I remember thinking how sad it was because sometimes, two people can love each other deeply and still bring out wounds in one another. But then she said something that stayed with me: “It’s actually workable, if both people are willing to work on it.” That made me appreciate relationships differently. The older I get, the less I believe that a successful relationship is about finding someone who is exactly like you. I’ve witnessed this in friends who are happily married—people who came from different worlds, with different personalities, cultures, beliefs, dreams, and ways of seeing life. Their marriages taught me that compatibility isn't always about being alike. Sometimes, ...