B22-02: “Groundswell”

I found myself sitting at the center of a mall cinema in Cebu City watching “Moana” during one night of December 2016. I find it peculiar crying at the top of my lungs because everyone are enjoying and laughing whilst watching the movie. However, it was the same year that I’ve reached rock bottom through out the time as I take a leap of faith to eventually follow my heart’s desire and transition to my new calling as a full-time social entrepreneur and marine conservation champion in my country. 

Moreover, I was at the peak of my quarter life crisis with episodes of depression, incessant crying and high level of anxiety. Whew! In short, I was totally messed up. Over and above that invidious situations, my long distance relationship didn’t survived, too. I remembered myself having no energy to get out of my bed in my apartment, spending most of my time entertaining my circling thoughts of challenging myself if I really made the right decisions and choices in my life. Although, I was fortunate enough to have my wonderful family and friends who never failed to support me to get back on my feet. 

Later on, It dawned on me that watching “Moana” was just one of the synchronicities that I’ve experienced from that moment forward and was actually directing me to the right path. It was also the same month when I’ve decided to moved back to my parents house as I give myself enough time to reflect and process what’s forthcoming in me and my life. As I unpack my stuff and fix my room, I’ve seen an old and untouched gift from one of the donors that I was managing in my previous stint as a community development worker which is the DVD version of the “Fundamentals of Spiritual Alchemy by Caroline Myss”. At long last, It was the perfect timing to put it into good use for it serves as the best guide to kick off my personal spiritual journey. Then, I started reading multiple self-help books, journaling, strengthen my intuition, took multiple I-ching facilitated by a friend and undergo reiki certification, practiced meditation, Ho’oponopono and mindfulness to know myself better and work on personal healing/cleansing. Little did I know, I was actually on-track on preparing myself for the next best chapters of my life!

I was fascinated and extremely curious when I have had encountered the term “Intergenerational Trauma”. I tried to find different methods to further understand it and learn how to spot it on my own life and family. This paved way to deeper understanding of myself including my triggers, pains, fears, traumas and so on. Some of the very important realizations about myself was "I am an empath and I didn’t know how to forgive either myself or others" which became my baseline for personal healing/cleansing. After consistent spiritual routines, I slowly gained inner peace, loving-kindness, mindfulness, freedom, lightness and genuine happiness. Furthermore, I started loving silence and solitary time. I’ve devoted and invested time to continuously practice multiple healing practices and further exploring how I can share it with others. I am truly grateful to meet amazing support group who inspires me to prioritize inner-work then outer-work follows. I remembered my favourite quote from Moana below: 

“It’s seeing where you’re going in your mind. Knowing where you are by knowing where you’ve been” - Maui

I’ve learned the value of discernment and reading the signs of my past to lead me to discover who I am and most importantly, to trust my intuition as this force of nature will always guide and push me in the right direction. I am definitely in a good place now.