A Woman’s Worth Was Never Meant to Be Measured

It still amazes me how, even today, so many people seem to think a woman’s success is somehow tied to whether or not she’s married. As if the entirety of her value, her achievements, and her journey could be measured by that one thing. When is she getting married? Why hasn’t she settled down yet?

But let’s be clear—those days when marriage was the only way to secure stability and survival? They’re gone.

Women today are stronger, more independent, and more empowered than ever before. We’re educated. We’re financially independent. We’re carving out lives for ourselves that are rich with meaning and purpose—on our terms. We’re not waiting to be chosen; we’re choosing ourselves.

And guess what? Thanks to all the incredible advancements in reproductive health and fertility, the old “ticking biological clock” doesn’t hold the same power it once did. Women have options now. We can decide when we want to marry, when we want to start a family, or if we want to do either at all. The pressure to do things according to some outdated timeline is no longer a reality for many of us.

Because here’s the thing: marriage is not a race.
It’s not a checklist.
It’s not something to tick off just to please others.

It’s a huge, life-altering decision that deserves to be approached with care, with clarity, and when you are emotionally ready—not when someone else thinks it’s “time.” Have we not learned anything from the increasing number of failed marriages, annulments, and divorces? Have we not seen the pain, the heartache, and the generational trauma left in their wake?

Rushing into something as monumental as marriage simply because it’s “what’s expected” never leads to happiness. It’s a setup for emotional baggage that gets passed down, generation after generation. So why continue to encourage it?

Still, there are some voices from the older generations that hold onto the belief that we should follow their path: marry young, figure it out later. But that was their journey, not ours. And their timeline doesn’t have to be our truth. We have the freedom to write our own stories, to take the time we need to figure out who we are, what we want, and who we want to share our lives with.

And to those who continue to push and prod, to remind us we should hurry up and "settle down"—stop.

Stop rushing us.
Stop pressuring us to follow a timeline that isn’t our own.
Enough with the subtle judgment and the unsolicited advice that assumes we’re somehow incomplete without a marriage certificate or a ring on our finger.

You don’t live our lives.
You don’t carry the weight of our decisions.
You don’t bear the consequences if things go wrong.

So why act like you have a stake in how we choose to live?

We’re allowed to take our time.
We’re allowed to grow.
We’re allowed to figure things out at our own pace.
We’re allowed to make choices that are right for us, not for anyone else’s expectations.

Our lives are not your timeline to manage.
Our worth is not your checklist to complete.

Let us breathe.
Let us think.
Let us choose our own happiness—on our own time.

A woman’s worth has never been tied to her relationship status.
It’s tied to her courage, her resilience, her ability to create a life that reflects who she truly is—no matter when or how she chooses to marry, if she chooses at all.

And that—more than any societal pressure—deserves to be celebrated.